Wednesday, December 22, 2010

taking away the parenting labels

Ok so their are many labels that get pinned on you when you become  MOTHER (OR PREGNANT) the one that rattles my bones are 'teen mum' ..............
i fell pregnant when i was 17 and stephen was 19, he was working full time, not once during my pregnancy did we accept "hand me down clothes" (what the hell was i thinking) and all of our nursery furniture was brought brand new that we paid for...when my bub was born i breast fed used cloth nappies and made all of his food, when he cried threw the night i got up, i didnt have a super nanny that come in and saved the day when i was elbows deep in vomit and poo, and yet i still got labelled as a teen parent and that our son was the result of an accident i didnt get to enjoy him because i was so affraid of screwing everything upand when i had my 2nd baby the following year i ended up with severe pnd that dint shake until he was 8 months old and than i had my lightbulb moment, it was like everything fell into place and i felt comfortable in my own skin comfortable as a mother and that is something i had never felt before!!  by the time baby number 3 came along i was 22, and suddenly the label had dropped, ok we already had 2 other kids, but every child is different and i stumbled and made just as many mistakes as i did with the first 2, one of the mistakes i refused to make was letting society judge me because of my age i knew than it wasnt the end of the world if my son wore  hand me downs  or i didnt make his food from scratch and cloth nappies honestly what the hell was i thinking!!!all i felt was that i was blessed to have 3 beautiful boys who where very much wanted (even number 3 who was a little bit of a suprise miracle after hubby had testicular cancer and several doses of high chemo and were told chances of having another where about 10 %)
i do however realise their are plenty of  of younger parents out their that may do it for the baby bonus or for whatever reason, but people need to realise that their are plenty of older mums that do  it for the same reason,,does it really matter if you are 18 or 38 when you have a baby they all have the same needs and we all struggle and have really crappy days, imagine having the pressures on you that you automatically fail because you are younger, i have met many different aged mums at my sons school and they go through the same struggles with raising kids as i do, to me it doesnt matter how old you are all babies need to be fed,changed,bathed and most importantly LOVED
I choose to have my babies, i chose to take on all the responsibilities, i gave up my old life to become a mummy and i wouldnt change that for the world

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